Monday, August 06, 2007

Stupid Is

If you haven't been keeping up with this story, it continues to get sillier and sillier. There's two reasons I bring it up here.

For one, these goofballs are suspected of planning to attack NPTU Goose Creek. Gimme a break. I was stationed there for a year, and it was a great experience, primarily because the only active units on the base are Naval Nuclear Power Training Command and the Nuclear Power Training Unit. Collectively, Nuke school. It may sound intimidating, but it's home to the biggest bunch of nerds in uniform today. Before this story broke the base was mildly notorious for having the highest rainbow chit rate in the whole Navy. A would-be attacker would have to fight their way past innumberable golf courses, navigating a gauntlet of drunken Chiefs towing their bass boats up and down Red Bank all day. Any attempt to avoid the main road would put them at dire risk of being devoured by gators. Not to mention the site is guarded vigilantly day and night by the ghost of Hyman G. Rickover. Seriously, Pope AFB's right down the street. At least there you stand a good chance of blowing up a volleyball game.

That being said, and not really knowing much about this case, I have a strong suspicion these guys aren't guilty of anything more than speeding while donning bodacious chinbeards. But c'mon, guys. Us Jews, we've learned the hard way when it's a good time to lay low. If it was 1942 and you were Japanese, you probably would think twice about that camping trip to the woods around San Fran with the Amateur Ham Radio and Astronomy Club. Similarly, if your name is Mohamed (or, alternately, Megahed, which I'm pretty sure is a Bobby-Sue like combination of Mohamed with Megatron) you probably should avoid speeding around in the dead of night outside a nuclear submarine base with homemade bottle rockets in the trunk. I'm just saying.